CHAPTER 13: TWO REUNIONS
<<Read the Second Intermission
“You want to buy a bottle of grog?” the ancient monster asked. He looked down from the bar with a quizzical grimace, his lion-like mane showering his face. “I’m not sure I can sell a bottle to you,” he said.
Nugget bit his lip. “It’s not for me,” he said, “it’s for a friend.”
“You havefriends here?” the old monster asked.
Nugget crawled up onto the rickety stool, nearly knocking it over as he squared hit butt over the seat. He leaned over and raised an eyebrow. He jerked his head over, as if to say “come here, I got a secret to tell you.” Instinctively, the monster came closer. Nugget spoke in low tones, narrowing his eyes and slowing his pace. “Look,” he said, “if I told you I was in disguise right now would that be difficult for you to believe?”
The bleary-eyed monster squinted and Nugget, studying him close. “Noo . . . ,” he said at last. “We get all kinds here.”
“I bet you do,” Nugget said, “I bet you do. So it wouldn’t surprise you to know that there’s been some shady dealings going on in the neighborhood . . . ? Some monsters doing the sorts of things that other monsters would rather not know about . . . you know?” Nugget said, lowering his voice further. “I don’t have to make it any clearer than that, do I?”
The barmonster nodded slowly, his feline mouth hanging open a little. Nugget imagined that this old beast had thrown back a few bottles of grog himself, this evening. But whatever the cause, the monster seemed to believe everything Nugget said.
“Monsters may be all-powerful and all, but we have to . . . well, we have to look out for . . . for certain things, right?”
“Boy, do I,” the monster said. A tiny bell tinkled above the door, and a short, slug-like beast trundled up to the other end of the bar. It gestured with is gelatinous paw. The barmonster nodded, and produced a bottle of grog. He severed the top inch from the stem using his talon, and then sent it sliding down to the other end. The slug-thing caught it in its paw with a squish, nodded his thanks, grunted something inaudible, and took to nursing his the bottle. This time, the barmonster jerked his head, indicating that he and Nugget should move further away to the other end. “And there have been some shady things going on . . . I heard there were kids here,” he confided to the kid, “like . . . like human kids . . . you know what I mean?”
Nugget gulped back a wad of saliva, feeling little trickles of sweat on the back of his neck. He knew coming into the bar would be a risk, but he didn’t know where he might overhear potential details about the whereabouts of Abbey and Wendell—and he knew that if he could get his hands on a bottle of grog, he might be able to lure any beasts that might accost him into a deep sleep. But to do that, he needed to take his chances with beasts and hope they were more like Mrs. Prune-Applebutter than like Clementine. So far, this old monster seemed decent—but now, with his reference to children, Nugget wondered if he was caught. He gripped the bar rail and poised himself to fly off the stool in case of danger.
“I do,” he gulped.
“You ever seen a kid?” the old beast asked.
Nugget looked up into the beast’s eyes, looking for clues. Was he toying with Nugget? He couldn’t be sure, but in the amber-colored cat’s eyes, Nugget swore he read actual curiosity over danger. The beast looked unknowing, not sly—so Nugget leaned in close and took a gamble.
“Where you think I got this outfit?” he asked.
“You mean . . . ?” the monster trailed away, without finishing his question.
“I mean . . . this get up? Used to be a little boy.”
The monster’s eyes grew wider and his mouth opened further. “Noooo waaaaay,” he drawled. “So that’s what they look like?”
“Yeah,” Nugget whispered. “Just like this.”
“Crikey,” the barmonster said. “Betcha can’t wait to get that outfit off—you look terrible.”
“Yeah,” Nugget said. “I can’t wait . . . so: howsabout that bottle of grog?”
The monster turned to his well of bottles, but stopped suddenly, and turned back—worry written on his face. “What’s gonna happen . . . to us. Ya know. If there are kids here?”
“It’s not good,” Nugget confessed. “You know how those humans are. If there are kids here, it means that their parents aren’t far behind—and if that happens, it’s not long before they’re hooking us up to wires and draining us of our energy so they can power their electronics.”
The monster stood silent for a long moment.
“And . . . and grog is gonna help you catch them??”
“Yup,” Nugget said. “Makes ‘em sleepy. Get ‘em drowsy like that, we can erase their memories, and send ‘em back where they belong.”
The monster nodded as if this were common knowledge, and catching kids in his universe were a common pursuit. Without a word he turned and produced a six-pack of bottles of grog and plunked them on the counter.
“Then you’ll need all this,” he said.
Nugget smiled and clicked his tongue. “I’m a little short on funds,” he said. He reached into his pocket, careful not to produce the skeleton key, and pulled out the few coins he’d stolen from Clementine’s desk. “This’s all I got until . . uh. Ya know.”
“It’s on the house,” the barmonster said. “I don’t wanna become no kinda powerplant for humans. If this’s gonna help you get those kids outta here, then it’s the least I can do.”
“That’s generous,” Nugget said, planting the coin on the bar. “Take this as a tip.”
“A tip?” the beast said. “What’s that?”
“Um . . . it’s . . . it’s a human thing. When they go to a bar or dinner, or something, they give whoever waited on them a, ya know, a little bit extra—for their service.”
The beast looked down at the coin in wonderment. “A tip,” he repeated slowly. “Wow. Thanks! I guess not everything humans do is terrible,” the monster said.
“No,” Nugget said. “Not everything.” With that, he took hold of the clanking amber bottles of grog, and hopped down from the stool. “You have a good night,” he told the old beast.
“You too,” returned the monster.
Nugget bounded for the door, then stopped and turned back to the old beast, who’d slinked to the side of the bar to share what he’d learned with the slug-looking thing.
“Uh, hey,” Nugget called at them. “You . . . you haven’t heard anythin’ about where these kids are running around here have you?”
The barmonster’s face went white and he grabbed the bar. “You think they’re here? You mean . . . like nearby?”
“I dunno,” Nugget said, “I just wondered if you’d heard rumors.”
“I haven’t,” the beast said. “And I’m glad!”
“OK, well . . .” Nugget was about to thank the old beast and walk away, when the slug like creature stopped him.
“I’ve heard somethin’ about kids,” it said. “From a friend’a mine. Old loon’s been out sayin’ he caught two of’em down by the old Fingerson mansion.”
“Really?” Nugget said.
“Yeah,” the slug thing said. “Though I wouldn’t believe a word the guy says—if you can understand a word the guy says. Old Tomatillo is a little soft in the old noggin, ya know? Says he’s made some deal with Clementine—you’ve heard’a Clementine, right?—says he made some kinda deal with’im about keeping the kids locked up over at Clementine’s, and Clem says if’e does it, he’s gonna get some kinda reward.”
Nugget stepped forward and looked at the slug. “And he says’e locked ‘em up at Clementine’s place?”
“That’s what’e says, dude,” the slug said.
Nugget tried to hold back his excitement. “Interesting,” he said. “I’ll hafta check this Tomatillo fellow out.”
“Good luck, brother,” the slug said. Then he turned back to the bar and asked for another grog. As the old beast went to work opening the bottle, Nugget left the bar. He stood out on the street, his heart racing in his chest, and looked up and down. Then, grog tucked under his arm, he bolted back toward Clementine’s.
Back inside the slug-thing looked over at the barmonster. “Think that kid’s got a chance getting’ outta here?” he asked.
“I dunno,” the barmonster said, wiping down his counter. “But I kinda hope for all our sake’s he does.”
The slug-monster nodded slowly, and enjoyed his grog as the barmonster tidied his station.
* * *
The monk stood by Clementine’s side, and he could feel the irate energy sizzling inside the monster’s body. The beast looked at the pile of junk outside his house and the open window above. Clementine didn’t have to say anything for the old man to know it meant that Nugget had escaped.
“I’ll hand it to him,” Clementine grunted, “he’s full of surprises.” Then he barked at the monk to follow, and the old man did—quite literally. For though the monk was spry and hale, he could not keep up with Clementine’s angry strides. As they stalked down the road, the monk tried to take in his surroundings—and as they passed it, he instantly recognized the old bank. The site of the familiar old building relieved him somewhat, as familiarity can do; but without knowing what to make of that detail, if anything could be made from that detail, he didn’t celebrate. He didn’t even have time to consider its implications. He had time only to follow along until Clementine stopped in front of a small row house at the end of the main road.
Clementine paused outside, as though going to knock—but with a sudden and swift kick of his hoof, he knocked in the door and stalked inside. The monk, stunned, stood still for a moment, and then approached to find Clementine staring at another monster, a very different one who resembled a worm and a cat. She sat knitting by the fire.
“Good evening, Mrs. Prune-Applebutter,” Clementine growled.
She looked up at him with acid in her eyes.
“Clementine,” she said. “Don’t ye know about knockin’? Are ye gonna be fixin’ my door, now you’ve knocked it down?”
“I’ll do more than knock it down, you foolish old beast,” Clementine said. He stepped further into the room, closer to Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. The monk marveled at her lack of fear, even with Clementine towering above her, his head hunched below the ceiling, his threatening, angry gaze fixed on her. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know what yet talkin’ about, you crank,” she said, returning to her knitting. “Now fix my door and get out.”
Clementine stood for a moment watching her. The monk saw the anger gather in the beast’s hooves—a quivering, shaking anger that quickly rose through his body and erupted from the beast in a monstrous bellow that shook the very walls of the old monster lady’s modest cottage. The hot air from Clementine’s lungs caused the small fire to gutter and shoot up the chimney, and the windows rattled in their casings.
But the old woman didn’t respond.
“Ye know, Clementine, that even for a monster, ye’ve got terrible breath.”
The monk wanted to ask who this woman was, this monster who feared Clementine so little. He thought perhaps a relative—but aside from them both being monsters, the monk could detect no similarities between them. Who was this beast that clearly cared nothing about Clementine’s actions or his anger? The question nearly formed itself in his mouth, when he realized that even if the old monster wasn’t afraid of Clementine, he, the old monk, was. He shut his mouth and watched in awe as Clementine stood raging but silent.
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter looked up at Clementine again. “Can I assume then that ye lost yer little friend, then?”
“He escaped,” Clementine said.
“Ahhh,” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter crooned. She returned to her knitting. “That’s too bad. But ye’ve never been good at holdin’ onto things, have ye—I’m constantly havin to find things for ye. An’ now ye’ve lost a little boy. But it looks like ye’ve found another human to play with, so why not forget about the little one?”
Clementine sat down at the bench of her table. The monk heard a slight cracking sound as the boards sank beneath the beast.
“You had nothing to do with his escape?”
“Ye know I’ve got no love fer humans. They’re worse than ye.”
“You seemed to like Nugget.”
“Oh?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said. “An’ what make ye say that?”
“You fed him.”
“Ye asked me to.”
“You fed him well.”
“I do everythin’ well.”
Suddenly Clementine brought his fist down on the table, sending a thunderous tremor throughout the room. “Don’t faff around with me, you old beast! If you helped him and you know where he is, it’s going to be better for all of us if you tell me now.”
“Clementine,” she said, “it’s my sad lot in life to clean up after ye, an’ put up with yer tempers, an’ sweep up after yer grog-fueled blackouts. That’s the deal we made all them years ago, but it ain’t my job to watch yer food for ye, an’ it ain’t my job to run around helpin’ human boys traipse around this sorry land. Now is there anything else ye need, or can ye leave me in peace?”
Clementine looked at her, but—without any proof that she’d seen or helped Nugget, he seemed to lack any reason for recourse against her. The monk watched the beast’s wheels spin, he watched Clementine try to come up with a retort for Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. He listened to the click-click-click of the old monster’s knitting.
And finally Clementine stood.
“I’ll send old Cantaloupe over to fix your door tonight,” he said.
“That old thing?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, looking up at him. “That poor old fart can barely lift a door handle, let alone a door. I’ll fix it, as I always do—just begone with ye, ye terrible old idiot.”
And without a word Clementine moped toward the door. As he got to the doorframe, he turned and looked at Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. “I’m warning you, if you know anything about where that little kid is, then—” But suddenly he stopped.
The sudden pause surprised Mrs. Prune-Applebutter, and she ceased her knitting and looked up at him. Clementine stood frozen, staring over at a table in the corner behind her. She followed his gaze, over to the table and when her eyes fell on it, her entire being seized.
“Been doing a little reading?” Clementine asked.
“That?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, “that’s just an old diary a’ mine from before, that’s just a—that’s nothing, that’s not—”
But before she could finish, Clementine advanced toward the table. Mrs. Prune-Applebutter bolted from the chair and stood in his way, attempting to prevent him reaching the table and the book that sat atop, but Clementine gripped her by the shoulders and tossed her off to the side. When his hands touched her arms, the monk heard a distinct, electrical buzzing—and he felt a sort of electrical jolt as she hit the floor by the fire. The air smelled like lightning in a thunderstorm.
Clementine reached the table and picked up the book, opening it at random.
“This looks awfully familiar,” Clementine said. “I have one just like this in the room I locked Nugget in.” He held up the scrapbook of his career that Nugget had smothered away from the house and into Mrs. Prune-Applebutter’s rooms.
“I stole that,” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, trying to get to her feet. “I took it from ye to get ye back for bein’ such a beast to me last week about floors. I took it to—”
“GRRAAAAAAHHH!” Clementine said, picking the table up on which the book had been laid. He hurled it at her—missing her by a fraction, and sending the the table into the fire. “YOU’RE LYING TO ME! YOU HELPED THE BOY ESCAPE!”
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter couldn’t answer. All she could do is watch as Clementine erupted in a fit of rage—slamming about her cottage, throwing everything he could, kicking, screaming and hurling things.
The monk raced to the door, and out to the street—and stood stock still as he watched Clementine begin to glow in the darkness, and to grow in size. As before, the monk watched as quivering anger gathered at the base of Clementine’s hooves, and rose through his body. As it reached the tip of his horns, an enormous explosion erupted around them. The monk cowered to the sidewalk, covering his head with his hands as shrapnel rained down on them. The sound of wood and metal and glass falling engulfed him, and several times he felt something heavy and sharp hit him in the back. Only once the sound ceased did he look up to discover the old monster lady’s house in rubble. Dust settled around Clementine and the prone shape of the old monster.
“Fix that as you always do,” Clementine said, stepping over the broken everything out into the street. “And think twice about meddling in my affairs again.” He hoisted his book in one hand and reached down to pull the monk up by his robe with the other. He jolted the old man in the air so quickly, the monk’s sandals remained on the ground—and though he tried to protest, Clementine couldn’t have cared less. Down the street he wandered, looking for signs of Nugget.
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter, covered in dust and rubble, said not a word as she surveyed the remains of her humble little home.
* * *
Standing outside Clementine’s house, Nugget felt a shiver up his spine. He almost raced in the other direction.
He stood staring at the door for long moments, before he built the courage to approach the window. He peered in through the bubbly glass. There, in the chair in which he’d found Clementine upon his arrival, sat a dragon-like beast staring at the well-like hole that led to the dungeon. Nugget knew immediately he’d found the kids, but realized too that he’d almost rather face Clementine—who looked at least slightly human—to this lizard-like beast with the crazy eyes and the scaly skin and the lolling tongue.
Nugget knew he had one try. If he beast didn’t want the grog, if that didn’t interest him enough and if he didn’t fall asleep, Nugget would have no way of fighting it and getting to Wendell and Abbey. And, though he’d had a spate of good luck with the monsters at the bar, that made him feel worse now. After all, how much luck could he possibly win in one day?
Nugget stood, mulling all this over as he peered into the window—and then suddenly found himself seized with fear, realizing that if he could see the monster inside, the monster could see him. Nugget backed away and returned to the safety and invisibility of the door. He’d draped Mrs. Prune-Abblebutter’s blanket around his neck, and it started to make him sweat. He pulled it off as he stood considering all the things that could possibly go wrong—all the ways this beast, who had no stock in eating his hope or his fear, could rip him to shreds with his razor-like fingers. And the more he thought about everything that could go wrong, the more he thought about high-tailing it back to Mrs. Prune-Applebutter’s house.
Then he looked down at the blanket in his hand. The old monster called it a herenow, and said if he put it on, it would make him stay in the present moment—he wouldn’t worry about the future. And, given that all he could think about was the future, staying in the present moment would go a long way. He had once chance, and he had to make it work. There were no other options, and delaying it was just delaying it. So Nugget unfurled the moon-colored blanked and slung it over his shoulders like a cape. Instantly all thought ceased. Nugget forget about all the scenarios of impending doom, he forgot, even, that he’d been anywhere else that day and he’d had a lot of good luck. All Nugget thought about was standing outside the door.
He took a step forward and reached for the door. And then he opened and stood face-to-face with the lizard like beast.
A shot of terror bolted through his stomach as the beast’s eyes met his, and even more terror bolted through him as the it lurched up from its chair. But Nugget stood his ground. He took the bottles of grog from under his arm and he placed them on the floor in front of the beast—and though it looked intent on ripping Nugget’s guts out through his nostrils one minute, the second its eyes fell on the grog, it froze in its tracks.
The beast studied the bottles, stepping around it somewhat, the way a dog might when exploring something new. It kicked the cardboard case slightly, and backed away quickly at the clanking of the bottles.
Then the beast looked at Nugget, who pulled the herenow blanket tighter around him.
Nugget nodded at the bottles.
The beast furrowed its brow and studied Nugget, obviously confused by this strange offering and unusual turn of events. And then, it bolted—Nugget dodged toward the door, but the beast didn’t lunge at Nugget, it lunged instead at the big six pack of bottles. In took three up in its hands, severed the tops, and threw its head back as it dumped the yellow liquid into its mouth.
Finished within moments, it tossed the bottles at the fireplace. Shards of glass sprayed the room. The lizard-beast looked down at Nugget and grunted, advancing at him. Nugget gestured toward the remaining three bottles, and the beast looked down. It grunted again—somewhat delighted—and picked up them up, severed the tops, and dumped the liquid back into its mouth. As Nugget watched, he feared that this might not be enough. He hadn’t thought about how much Clementine might have had before he dozed off Nugget’s first night there, and this lizard-beast looked a bigger and stupider than Clementine. There might not be enough grog in six bottles to knock him about. And, indeed, Nugget’s fears seemed founded when the big green monster tossed the bottles at the fireplace, sending glass everywhere. It looked at Nugget again, seeming to want more.
Nugget could do nothing but shrug.
The beast narrowed its eyes, confused—and then it’s face melted from confusion into anger, and it advanced at Nugget. It snarled and growled and once within striking distance, it wound up to make a strike at Nugget. Nugget, unable to move from the corner he’d gotten stuck in as he backed away, closed his eyes and waited for impact—but after a moment, nothing came.
Nugget opened his eyes. He looked up.
Standing there before him, drool already slathering from the side of it’s disgusting mouth, the beast stood frozen in sleep—eyes closed, gentle snoring sawing from its nostrils, stuck in mid-swing.
Nugget raised an eyebrow in surprise.
He waited a moment to be sure this wasn’t a trick—and, indeed, a moment later the monster began tipping toward him. Nugget bolted out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed by the beast, who now lay across the dining table with his slobbery mouth pressed up against the window.
“Wow,” Nugget said, considering this new lucky break, “that almost never happens.”
A moment later, he advanced at the well and tried the skeleton key in the lock. Despite the rustiness of the old iron chains, Nugget got the lock off and began the difficult process of pushing back the huge stone cap that covered the well. It took nearly everything in his might to budge it even an inch—and after a minute or two, having zapped what felt like his entire life’s worth of strength he grunted and pulled back.
He looked at the stone and then back at the monster.
He was about to give the stone cap another push, when an enormous explosion rattled the windows. Nugget turned and looked but saw nothing. He raced over to the free window—the one without a slobbering lizard-beast snoring in it—and peered up and down the road. But he could see nothing other than ochre blackness.
He looked back at the well. He sighed, knowing that it’s weight would be too much of a match for him—feeling defeated after so much good luck. But he tightened the herenow around his shoulders again and ran at the well as fast as he could, and with the momentum he’d gathered he pushed at the stone and managed to move it about three or four inches. The amount astonished him. It also let enough light in to the well below that it caught the attention of the kids inside.
“Hey,” Nugget whispered down into the hole. “Is that you guys?”
“Nugget?” came a familiar voice. “Is that you?”
“Of course it is,” came a reprimand from another familiar voice. “How many kids you think are out here in this stupid place looking for us.”
“Abbey, just because you’re in love with me doesn’t mean to have to be so sweet to me all the time. You can just be normal with me, ya know?”
“Seriously,” Abbey hissed—the S’s in the word skittering up the sides of the well like a pinball.
Nugget laughed against—somehow their familiar bickering cheered him.
“I’ll have you out in a minute!” And without another word he dashed back to the window and ran to the well, managing to move the stone a few more inches. And so he went, until the space was wide enough for Abbey and Wendell to crawl from.
Back in the light, the three kids stood in Clementine’s kitchen, delighted to be reunited, but weary and ready to be home.
After a moment staring at the drunk beast pressed against the window, Wendell ventured the next logical question: “What now?”
“Home,” Nugget said.
“Yes,” Abbey said. “But we have to figure out how to get there.”
“Well, however that is we shouldn’t do it here,” Nugget said, jerking his head in the direction of the sleeping lizard. “I dunno how long Princess Morning Dew, over there, is gonna stay under, and I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna find out.”
“Right,” Wendell said. “But where to?”
Nugget scrunched up his face, considering the options—they were few indeed. At first he considered the bar, the two beasts there had been decent. But then he’d indicated he was spy out to reign in some terrifying humans, and bringing those humans back there might not be the wisest idea. “Wait,” he said suddenly, “Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. We’ll go there! She’ll let us stay until we can figure out the best way outta here.”
“Who’s that?” Abbey asked.
“I’m not really sure,” Nugget said. “She sorta works here for my monster—but she’s not terrible . . . she saved me. And she made me this thing.”
“What’s that?” Abbey asked.
“It’s a . . . well it’s this thing, that—it doesn’t sound all that impressive when I explain it, but I promise you it’s cool . . . just come with me, and I’ll tell you on the way.”
And with that, Nugget made for the door.
Abbey glanced at Wendell, a little suspicious about this monster who might work for Nugget’s monster and who made this thing that was impressive but didn’t sound like it, and, to top it off, was a monster herself—but Wendell, with no better ideas and liking Nugget’s sudden surety, shrugged and followed. Abbey lingered behind a little, not as willing to trust any monster—but when the one pressed up against the window emitted a huge and terrible snore, Abbey bolted from the room and out the door to Nugget’s side.
And off the headed to the safety of a house that no longer existed, while Clementine were on the prowl for Nugget.
Read Chapter 14>>
<<Read the Second Intermission
“You want to buy a bottle of grog?” the ancient monster asked. He looked down from the bar with a quizzical grimace, his lion-like mane showering his face. “I’m not sure I can sell a bottle to you,” he said.
Nugget bit his lip. “It’s not for me,” he said, “it’s for a friend.”
“You havefriends here?” the old monster asked.
Nugget crawled up onto the rickety stool, nearly knocking it over as he squared hit butt over the seat. He leaned over and raised an eyebrow. He jerked his head over, as if to say “come here, I got a secret to tell you.” Instinctively, the monster came closer. Nugget spoke in low tones, narrowing his eyes and slowing his pace. “Look,” he said, “if I told you I was in disguise right now would that be difficult for you to believe?”
The bleary-eyed monster squinted and Nugget, studying him close. “Noo . . . ,” he said at last. “We get all kinds here.”
“I bet you do,” Nugget said, “I bet you do. So it wouldn’t surprise you to know that there’s been some shady dealings going on in the neighborhood . . . ? Some monsters doing the sorts of things that other monsters would rather not know about . . . you know?” Nugget said, lowering his voice further. “I don’t have to make it any clearer than that, do I?”
The barmonster nodded slowly, his feline mouth hanging open a little. Nugget imagined that this old beast had thrown back a few bottles of grog himself, this evening. But whatever the cause, the monster seemed to believe everything Nugget said.
“Monsters may be all-powerful and all, but we have to . . . well, we have to look out for . . . for certain things, right?”
“Boy, do I,” the monster said. A tiny bell tinkled above the door, and a short, slug-like beast trundled up to the other end of the bar. It gestured with is gelatinous paw. The barmonster nodded, and produced a bottle of grog. He severed the top inch from the stem using his talon, and then sent it sliding down to the other end. The slug-thing caught it in its paw with a squish, nodded his thanks, grunted something inaudible, and took to nursing his the bottle. This time, the barmonster jerked his head, indicating that he and Nugget should move further away to the other end. “And there have been some shady things going on . . . I heard there were kids here,” he confided to the kid, “like . . . like human kids . . . you know what I mean?”
Nugget gulped back a wad of saliva, feeling little trickles of sweat on the back of his neck. He knew coming into the bar would be a risk, but he didn’t know where he might overhear potential details about the whereabouts of Abbey and Wendell—and he knew that if he could get his hands on a bottle of grog, he might be able to lure any beasts that might accost him into a deep sleep. But to do that, he needed to take his chances with beasts and hope they were more like Mrs. Prune-Applebutter than like Clementine. So far, this old monster seemed decent—but now, with his reference to children, Nugget wondered if he was caught. He gripped the bar rail and poised himself to fly off the stool in case of danger.
“I do,” he gulped.
“You ever seen a kid?” the old beast asked.
Nugget looked up into the beast’s eyes, looking for clues. Was he toying with Nugget? He couldn’t be sure, but in the amber-colored cat’s eyes, Nugget swore he read actual curiosity over danger. The beast looked unknowing, not sly—so Nugget leaned in close and took a gamble.
“Where you think I got this outfit?” he asked.
“You mean . . . ?” the monster trailed away, without finishing his question.
“I mean . . . this get up? Used to be a little boy.”
The monster’s eyes grew wider and his mouth opened further. “Noooo waaaaay,” he drawled. “So that’s what they look like?”
“Yeah,” Nugget whispered. “Just like this.”
“Crikey,” the barmonster said. “Betcha can’t wait to get that outfit off—you look terrible.”
“Yeah,” Nugget said. “I can’t wait . . . so: howsabout that bottle of grog?”
The monster turned to his well of bottles, but stopped suddenly, and turned back—worry written on his face. “What’s gonna happen . . . to us. Ya know. If there are kids here?”
“It’s not good,” Nugget confessed. “You know how those humans are. If there are kids here, it means that their parents aren’t far behind—and if that happens, it’s not long before they’re hooking us up to wires and draining us of our energy so they can power their electronics.”
The monster stood silent for a long moment.
“And . . . and grog is gonna help you catch them??”
“Yup,” Nugget said. “Makes ‘em sleepy. Get ‘em drowsy like that, we can erase their memories, and send ‘em back where they belong.”
The monster nodded as if this were common knowledge, and catching kids in his universe were a common pursuit. Without a word he turned and produced a six-pack of bottles of grog and plunked them on the counter.
“Then you’ll need all this,” he said.
Nugget smiled and clicked his tongue. “I’m a little short on funds,” he said. He reached into his pocket, careful not to produce the skeleton key, and pulled out the few coins he’d stolen from Clementine’s desk. “This’s all I got until . . uh. Ya know.”
“It’s on the house,” the barmonster said. “I don’t wanna become no kinda powerplant for humans. If this’s gonna help you get those kids outta here, then it’s the least I can do.”
“That’s generous,” Nugget said, planting the coin on the bar. “Take this as a tip.”
“A tip?” the beast said. “What’s that?”
“Um . . . it’s . . . it’s a human thing. When they go to a bar or dinner, or something, they give whoever waited on them a, ya know, a little bit extra—for their service.”
The beast looked down at the coin in wonderment. “A tip,” he repeated slowly. “Wow. Thanks! I guess not everything humans do is terrible,” the monster said.
“No,” Nugget said. “Not everything.” With that, he took hold of the clanking amber bottles of grog, and hopped down from the stool. “You have a good night,” he told the old beast.
“You too,” returned the monster.
Nugget bounded for the door, then stopped and turned back to the old beast, who’d slinked to the side of the bar to share what he’d learned with the slug-looking thing.
“Uh, hey,” Nugget called at them. “You . . . you haven’t heard anythin’ about where these kids are running around here have you?”
The barmonster’s face went white and he grabbed the bar. “You think they’re here? You mean . . . like nearby?”
“I dunno,” Nugget said, “I just wondered if you’d heard rumors.”
“I haven’t,” the beast said. “And I’m glad!”
“OK, well . . .” Nugget was about to thank the old beast and walk away, when the slug like creature stopped him.
“I’ve heard somethin’ about kids,” it said. “From a friend’a mine. Old loon’s been out sayin’ he caught two of’em down by the old Fingerson mansion.”
“Really?” Nugget said.
“Yeah,” the slug thing said. “Though I wouldn’t believe a word the guy says—if you can understand a word the guy says. Old Tomatillo is a little soft in the old noggin, ya know? Says he’s made some deal with Clementine—you’ve heard’a Clementine, right?—says he made some kinda deal with’im about keeping the kids locked up over at Clementine’s, and Clem says if’e does it, he’s gonna get some kinda reward.”
Nugget stepped forward and looked at the slug. “And he says’e locked ‘em up at Clementine’s place?”
“That’s what’e says, dude,” the slug said.
Nugget tried to hold back his excitement. “Interesting,” he said. “I’ll hafta check this Tomatillo fellow out.”
“Good luck, brother,” the slug said. Then he turned back to the bar and asked for another grog. As the old beast went to work opening the bottle, Nugget left the bar. He stood out on the street, his heart racing in his chest, and looked up and down. Then, grog tucked under his arm, he bolted back toward Clementine’s.
Back inside the slug-thing looked over at the barmonster. “Think that kid’s got a chance getting’ outta here?” he asked.
“I dunno,” the barmonster said, wiping down his counter. “But I kinda hope for all our sake’s he does.”
The slug-monster nodded slowly, and enjoyed his grog as the barmonster tidied his station.
* * *
The monk stood by Clementine’s side, and he could feel the irate energy sizzling inside the monster’s body. The beast looked at the pile of junk outside his house and the open window above. Clementine didn’t have to say anything for the old man to know it meant that Nugget had escaped.
“I’ll hand it to him,” Clementine grunted, “he’s full of surprises.” Then he barked at the monk to follow, and the old man did—quite literally. For though the monk was spry and hale, he could not keep up with Clementine’s angry strides. As they stalked down the road, the monk tried to take in his surroundings—and as they passed it, he instantly recognized the old bank. The site of the familiar old building relieved him somewhat, as familiarity can do; but without knowing what to make of that detail, if anything could be made from that detail, he didn’t celebrate. He didn’t even have time to consider its implications. He had time only to follow along until Clementine stopped in front of a small row house at the end of the main road.
Clementine paused outside, as though going to knock—but with a sudden and swift kick of his hoof, he knocked in the door and stalked inside. The monk, stunned, stood still for a moment, and then approached to find Clementine staring at another monster, a very different one who resembled a worm and a cat. She sat knitting by the fire.
“Good evening, Mrs. Prune-Applebutter,” Clementine growled.
She looked up at him with acid in her eyes.
“Clementine,” she said. “Don’t ye know about knockin’? Are ye gonna be fixin’ my door, now you’ve knocked it down?”
“I’ll do more than knock it down, you foolish old beast,” Clementine said. He stepped further into the room, closer to Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. The monk marveled at her lack of fear, even with Clementine towering above her, his head hunched below the ceiling, his threatening, angry gaze fixed on her. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know what yet talkin’ about, you crank,” she said, returning to her knitting. “Now fix my door and get out.”
Clementine stood for a moment watching her. The monk saw the anger gather in the beast’s hooves—a quivering, shaking anger that quickly rose through his body and erupted from the beast in a monstrous bellow that shook the very walls of the old monster lady’s modest cottage. The hot air from Clementine’s lungs caused the small fire to gutter and shoot up the chimney, and the windows rattled in their casings.
But the old woman didn’t respond.
“Ye know, Clementine, that even for a monster, ye’ve got terrible breath.”
The monk wanted to ask who this woman was, this monster who feared Clementine so little. He thought perhaps a relative—but aside from them both being monsters, the monk could detect no similarities between them. Who was this beast that clearly cared nothing about Clementine’s actions or his anger? The question nearly formed itself in his mouth, when he realized that even if the old monster wasn’t afraid of Clementine, he, the old monk, was. He shut his mouth and watched in awe as Clementine stood raging but silent.
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter looked up at Clementine again. “Can I assume then that ye lost yer little friend, then?”
“He escaped,” Clementine said.
“Ahhh,” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter crooned. She returned to her knitting. “That’s too bad. But ye’ve never been good at holdin’ onto things, have ye—I’m constantly havin to find things for ye. An’ now ye’ve lost a little boy. But it looks like ye’ve found another human to play with, so why not forget about the little one?”
Clementine sat down at the bench of her table. The monk heard a slight cracking sound as the boards sank beneath the beast.
“You had nothing to do with his escape?”
“Ye know I’ve got no love fer humans. They’re worse than ye.”
“You seemed to like Nugget.”
“Oh?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said. “An’ what make ye say that?”
“You fed him.”
“Ye asked me to.”
“You fed him well.”
“I do everythin’ well.”
Suddenly Clementine brought his fist down on the table, sending a thunderous tremor throughout the room. “Don’t faff around with me, you old beast! If you helped him and you know where he is, it’s going to be better for all of us if you tell me now.”
“Clementine,” she said, “it’s my sad lot in life to clean up after ye, an’ put up with yer tempers, an’ sweep up after yer grog-fueled blackouts. That’s the deal we made all them years ago, but it ain’t my job to watch yer food for ye, an’ it ain’t my job to run around helpin’ human boys traipse around this sorry land. Now is there anything else ye need, or can ye leave me in peace?”
Clementine looked at her, but—without any proof that she’d seen or helped Nugget, he seemed to lack any reason for recourse against her. The monk watched the beast’s wheels spin, he watched Clementine try to come up with a retort for Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. He listened to the click-click-click of the old monster’s knitting.
And finally Clementine stood.
“I’ll send old Cantaloupe over to fix your door tonight,” he said.
“That old thing?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, looking up at him. “That poor old fart can barely lift a door handle, let alone a door. I’ll fix it, as I always do—just begone with ye, ye terrible old idiot.”
And without a word Clementine moped toward the door. As he got to the doorframe, he turned and looked at Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. “I’m warning you, if you know anything about where that little kid is, then—” But suddenly he stopped.
The sudden pause surprised Mrs. Prune-Applebutter, and she ceased her knitting and looked up at him. Clementine stood frozen, staring over at a table in the corner behind her. She followed his gaze, over to the table and when her eyes fell on it, her entire being seized.
“Been doing a little reading?” Clementine asked.
“That?” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, “that’s just an old diary a’ mine from before, that’s just a—that’s nothing, that’s not—”
But before she could finish, Clementine advanced toward the table. Mrs. Prune-Applebutter bolted from the chair and stood in his way, attempting to prevent him reaching the table and the book that sat atop, but Clementine gripped her by the shoulders and tossed her off to the side. When his hands touched her arms, the monk heard a distinct, electrical buzzing—and he felt a sort of electrical jolt as she hit the floor by the fire. The air smelled like lightning in a thunderstorm.
Clementine reached the table and picked up the book, opening it at random.
“This looks awfully familiar,” Clementine said. “I have one just like this in the room I locked Nugget in.” He held up the scrapbook of his career that Nugget had smothered away from the house and into Mrs. Prune-Applebutter’s rooms.
“I stole that,” Mrs. Prune-Applebutter said, trying to get to her feet. “I took it from ye to get ye back for bein’ such a beast to me last week about floors. I took it to—”
“GRRAAAAAAHHH!” Clementine said, picking the table up on which the book had been laid. He hurled it at her—missing her by a fraction, and sending the the table into the fire. “YOU’RE LYING TO ME! YOU HELPED THE BOY ESCAPE!”
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter couldn’t answer. All she could do is watch as Clementine erupted in a fit of rage—slamming about her cottage, throwing everything he could, kicking, screaming and hurling things.
The monk raced to the door, and out to the street—and stood stock still as he watched Clementine begin to glow in the darkness, and to grow in size. As before, the monk watched as quivering anger gathered at the base of Clementine’s hooves, and rose through his body. As it reached the tip of his horns, an enormous explosion erupted around them. The monk cowered to the sidewalk, covering his head with his hands as shrapnel rained down on them. The sound of wood and metal and glass falling engulfed him, and several times he felt something heavy and sharp hit him in the back. Only once the sound ceased did he look up to discover the old monster lady’s house in rubble. Dust settled around Clementine and the prone shape of the old monster.
“Fix that as you always do,” Clementine said, stepping over the broken everything out into the street. “And think twice about meddling in my affairs again.” He hoisted his book in one hand and reached down to pull the monk up by his robe with the other. He jolted the old man in the air so quickly, the monk’s sandals remained on the ground—and though he tried to protest, Clementine couldn’t have cared less. Down the street he wandered, looking for signs of Nugget.
Mrs. Prune-Applebutter, covered in dust and rubble, said not a word as she surveyed the remains of her humble little home.
* * *
Standing outside Clementine’s house, Nugget felt a shiver up his spine. He almost raced in the other direction.
He stood staring at the door for long moments, before he built the courage to approach the window. He peered in through the bubbly glass. There, in the chair in which he’d found Clementine upon his arrival, sat a dragon-like beast staring at the well-like hole that led to the dungeon. Nugget knew immediately he’d found the kids, but realized too that he’d almost rather face Clementine—who looked at least slightly human—to this lizard-like beast with the crazy eyes and the scaly skin and the lolling tongue.
Nugget knew he had one try. If he beast didn’t want the grog, if that didn’t interest him enough and if he didn’t fall asleep, Nugget would have no way of fighting it and getting to Wendell and Abbey. And, though he’d had a spate of good luck with the monsters at the bar, that made him feel worse now. After all, how much luck could he possibly win in one day?
Nugget stood, mulling all this over as he peered into the window—and then suddenly found himself seized with fear, realizing that if he could see the monster inside, the monster could see him. Nugget backed away and returned to the safety and invisibility of the door. He’d draped Mrs. Prune-Abblebutter’s blanket around his neck, and it started to make him sweat. He pulled it off as he stood considering all the things that could possibly go wrong—all the ways this beast, who had no stock in eating his hope or his fear, could rip him to shreds with his razor-like fingers. And the more he thought about everything that could go wrong, the more he thought about high-tailing it back to Mrs. Prune-Applebutter’s house.
Then he looked down at the blanket in his hand. The old monster called it a herenow, and said if he put it on, it would make him stay in the present moment—he wouldn’t worry about the future. And, given that all he could think about was the future, staying in the present moment would go a long way. He had once chance, and he had to make it work. There were no other options, and delaying it was just delaying it. So Nugget unfurled the moon-colored blanked and slung it over his shoulders like a cape. Instantly all thought ceased. Nugget forget about all the scenarios of impending doom, he forgot, even, that he’d been anywhere else that day and he’d had a lot of good luck. All Nugget thought about was standing outside the door.
He took a step forward and reached for the door. And then he opened and stood face-to-face with the lizard like beast.
A shot of terror bolted through his stomach as the beast’s eyes met his, and even more terror bolted through him as the it lurched up from its chair. But Nugget stood his ground. He took the bottles of grog from under his arm and he placed them on the floor in front of the beast—and though it looked intent on ripping Nugget’s guts out through his nostrils one minute, the second its eyes fell on the grog, it froze in its tracks.
The beast studied the bottles, stepping around it somewhat, the way a dog might when exploring something new. It kicked the cardboard case slightly, and backed away quickly at the clanking of the bottles.
Then the beast looked at Nugget, who pulled the herenow blanket tighter around him.
Nugget nodded at the bottles.
The beast furrowed its brow and studied Nugget, obviously confused by this strange offering and unusual turn of events. And then, it bolted—Nugget dodged toward the door, but the beast didn’t lunge at Nugget, it lunged instead at the big six pack of bottles. In took three up in its hands, severed the tops, and threw its head back as it dumped the yellow liquid into its mouth.
Finished within moments, it tossed the bottles at the fireplace. Shards of glass sprayed the room. The lizard-beast looked down at Nugget and grunted, advancing at him. Nugget gestured toward the remaining three bottles, and the beast looked down. It grunted again—somewhat delighted—and picked up them up, severed the tops, and dumped the liquid back into its mouth. As Nugget watched, he feared that this might not be enough. He hadn’t thought about how much Clementine might have had before he dozed off Nugget’s first night there, and this lizard-beast looked a bigger and stupider than Clementine. There might not be enough grog in six bottles to knock him about. And, indeed, Nugget’s fears seemed founded when the big green monster tossed the bottles at the fireplace, sending glass everywhere. It looked at Nugget again, seeming to want more.
Nugget could do nothing but shrug.
The beast narrowed its eyes, confused—and then it’s face melted from confusion into anger, and it advanced at Nugget. It snarled and growled and once within striking distance, it wound up to make a strike at Nugget. Nugget, unable to move from the corner he’d gotten stuck in as he backed away, closed his eyes and waited for impact—but after a moment, nothing came.
Nugget opened his eyes. He looked up.
Standing there before him, drool already slathering from the side of it’s disgusting mouth, the beast stood frozen in sleep—eyes closed, gentle snoring sawing from its nostrils, stuck in mid-swing.
Nugget raised an eyebrow in surprise.
He waited a moment to be sure this wasn’t a trick—and, indeed, a moment later the monster began tipping toward him. Nugget bolted out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed by the beast, who now lay across the dining table with his slobbery mouth pressed up against the window.
“Wow,” Nugget said, considering this new lucky break, “that almost never happens.”
A moment later, he advanced at the well and tried the skeleton key in the lock. Despite the rustiness of the old iron chains, Nugget got the lock off and began the difficult process of pushing back the huge stone cap that covered the well. It took nearly everything in his might to budge it even an inch—and after a minute or two, having zapped what felt like his entire life’s worth of strength he grunted and pulled back.
He looked at the stone and then back at the monster.
He was about to give the stone cap another push, when an enormous explosion rattled the windows. Nugget turned and looked but saw nothing. He raced over to the free window—the one without a slobbering lizard-beast snoring in it—and peered up and down the road. But he could see nothing other than ochre blackness.
He looked back at the well. He sighed, knowing that it’s weight would be too much of a match for him—feeling defeated after so much good luck. But he tightened the herenow around his shoulders again and ran at the well as fast as he could, and with the momentum he’d gathered he pushed at the stone and managed to move it about three or four inches. The amount astonished him. It also let enough light in to the well below that it caught the attention of the kids inside.
“Hey,” Nugget whispered down into the hole. “Is that you guys?”
“Nugget?” came a familiar voice. “Is that you?”
“Of course it is,” came a reprimand from another familiar voice. “How many kids you think are out here in this stupid place looking for us.”
“Abbey, just because you’re in love with me doesn’t mean to have to be so sweet to me all the time. You can just be normal with me, ya know?”
“Seriously,” Abbey hissed—the S’s in the word skittering up the sides of the well like a pinball.
Nugget laughed against—somehow their familiar bickering cheered him.
“I’ll have you out in a minute!” And without another word he dashed back to the window and ran to the well, managing to move the stone a few more inches. And so he went, until the space was wide enough for Abbey and Wendell to crawl from.
Back in the light, the three kids stood in Clementine’s kitchen, delighted to be reunited, but weary and ready to be home.
After a moment staring at the drunk beast pressed against the window, Wendell ventured the next logical question: “What now?”
“Home,” Nugget said.
“Yes,” Abbey said. “But we have to figure out how to get there.”
“Well, however that is we shouldn’t do it here,” Nugget said, jerking his head in the direction of the sleeping lizard. “I dunno how long Princess Morning Dew, over there, is gonna stay under, and I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna find out.”
“Right,” Wendell said. “But where to?”
Nugget scrunched up his face, considering the options—they were few indeed. At first he considered the bar, the two beasts there had been decent. But then he’d indicated he was spy out to reign in some terrifying humans, and bringing those humans back there might not be the wisest idea. “Wait,” he said suddenly, “Mrs. Prune-Applebutter. We’ll go there! She’ll let us stay until we can figure out the best way outta here.”
“Who’s that?” Abbey asked.
“I’m not really sure,” Nugget said. “She sorta works here for my monster—but she’s not terrible . . . she saved me. And she made me this thing.”
“What’s that?” Abbey asked.
“It’s a . . . well it’s this thing, that—it doesn’t sound all that impressive when I explain it, but I promise you it’s cool . . . just come with me, and I’ll tell you on the way.”
And with that, Nugget made for the door.
Abbey glanced at Wendell, a little suspicious about this monster who might work for Nugget’s monster and who made this thing that was impressive but didn’t sound like it, and, to top it off, was a monster herself—but Wendell, with no better ideas and liking Nugget’s sudden surety, shrugged and followed. Abbey lingered behind a little, not as willing to trust any monster—but when the one pressed up against the window emitted a huge and terrible snore, Abbey bolted from the room and out the door to Nugget’s side.
And off the headed to the safety of a house that no longer existed, while Clementine were on the prowl for Nugget.
Read Chapter 14>>



RSS Feed